May 2013
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
frezned: mistersnurb: in case anyone was wondering... →
mistersnurb:
in case anyone was wondering here’s the deal with “pineapple”
the word pineapple, back when “apple” was a super generic word, used to refer to pine cones
in the 17th century, europeans came to the americas and found the fruit and they called it a pineapple because they look…
somebody that you used to know: Red Flags for... →
freedoms-progress:
1. If something would be boring and/or undramatic for a male character, it would probably be boring and/or undramatic for a female character. If you’re writing a female character (particularly in a major role), I’d recommend thinking about whether you’d want to read…
werelemur:
trapghoul:
note to women: not all men are rapists but don’t dress like a whore and be responsible for your actions because all men are rapists
You forgot “be clear about your boundaries with men, but don’t ever directly say no, because you might hurt their feelings and not be ladylike, and unladylike women deserve whatever happens to them.”
plenair:
actionjackel:
hTHIS IS NOT WAHT I SREACHED FOR
wHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING FOR
ccomicsloth:
saying “its just hormones” to an upset teenager to make them feel better is like saying “its just gravity” to someone who fell off of the top of a 10 story building
Watchcranquis:
Two men experience 1 hour of simulated labor pains, through the “miracle” of hooking electrodes up to their abdominal muscles… while their wives watch (and giggle).
Mrs. Cranquis: you are my super-hero.
introtofeminism:
i didnt mean to become an angry feminist it just sort of happened because i looked out my window and woke the fuck up y’know
heismyfirstolive:
timelordsandhunters:
is nobody going to talk about this painting
i mean those men are just casually rIDING THEIR BEARDS NBD
never mind them, i’m more concerned about the guy kidnapping a woman with his beard
“And I’ve never had to face the world without her at my side.
Now I’m strolling...”
– Dan, Next to Normal (via anythingshows)
thewormscrawlin:
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Bob Ross comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom,
playstation2chainz:
so ur telling me all mothers were born today
